


Did Someone Order Flowers?

by pomegranasia



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: !!, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Gender Dysphoria, Hanahaki Disease, I'm a soft gay what can I say, Idk what i'm doing, Insecure Magnus, Other, Pet Names, Trans Magnus Chase, Use Of Deadname, a couple of sideships, and by pet names i mean really stupid teasing nicknames (: courtesy of alex fierro, and hearthstone bc magnus' dads are important, fierrochase, ftm trans magnus chase, lots of feelings, mama bear alex, probably ooc whoopsie doopsie, some sam/amir and probably mallory/halfborn, uhhh annabeth is probably gonna roll up at some point, worried Alex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-15 00:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14780393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranasia/pseuds/pomegranasia
Summary: Magnus develops an illness with magical roots. Those roots try to kill him every time he thinks about the one and only Alex Fierro. Meanwhile, his friends frantically search for a cure that doesn’t involve Magnus dying before Ragnarok.





	1. At Least It's Not Pica ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

**Author's Note:**

> Probably OOC because I finished this series a while ago oops. It's been a while since I've written fanfic, but I am apparently back and alive lmao. This fandom isn’t big enough, and I was like “If this fic hasn’t been written yet, I might as well write it.” It's written in first person for some reason...Whoops, my bad. Sidenote: I listened to Atlas: Four by Sleeping at Last while writing and editing this.

 

I curled inwards, clutching my stomach. I’d been feeling bad all day, so much so that I’d cooped up in my room right after our morning battle and hadn’t left since. Jack floated around me, trying to convince me to get up.

“C’mon, Señor, I’m sure it’s nothing a little food can’t fix.” I groaned in response. “Or is this more complicated… An ailment of love, perhaps?” I threw my pillow at him, relieved when he ducked out of the way. As gross as I was feeling, I didn’t want to watch my sword go to town on my pillow. I’m sure the hotel staff would replace it, but still. “You’d better not trade me in the name of love. That would _so_ break bro code. Blades before babes, dude! We’ve been over this!”

“I’m not gonna trade you for Alex, Jack.” I froze as soon as I said it. I could only hope that he hadn’t been paying attention (as per usual). The more I thought about Alex, the worse I felt. 

“Ooh la la, so that’s who has you feeling so down?” Jack teased.

“Shut up, Jack. I’m just not feeling well.” I denied.

“It’s okay, Señor. I’m not one to judge. Honestly, I’m just glad that you don’t have the same taste as your dad. _Ugh,_ frost giants, am I right?” 

A pounding knocking at the door interrupted him (thank Gods). “Get out here, Beantown. It’s time for lunch.” Of course. Of freaking course, of all people, it had to be Alex Fierro. My insides lurched. Maybe Jack was on to something when he said this was an ‘ailment of love.’

Jack whispered something that sounded suspiciously like, “Go get ‘em, tiger,” before falling inanimate again. 

“I’m not hungry!” I called back, praying to a God I didn’t believe in that she would leave.

“I didn’t ask! Don’t make me kick this door down. I won’t hesitate, bitch!” She cackled at her own Vine reference, and I forced myself out of bed to answer the door.

I slowly opened the door, leaning heavily on the door frame. I was wearing an oversized hoodie and christmas pajama pants. I’ve never been religious, but christmas pajamas are notorious for being the softest, most comfortable pajamas ever. I will fight you on that. It didn’t really matter that it was the middle of summer out there in the living world right now; Christmas pajamas are wonderful at any time of year. I crossed my arms over my chest. There wasn’t much there to begin with, but it made me a little uncomfortable to be in front of her without my binder. “I’m really not feeling good right now, Alex. Go ahead without me.” I forced a small smile.

Alex frowned, studying me with a calculating expression, “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Can you even get sick in the afterlife?” 

For some reason, my body chose that exact moment to convulse violently. I bent in half, clutching one hand to my rib cage and allowing the other to cover my mouth as I coughed obnoxiously loud. I tried to force down the bile making its way up my throat. _Gross._ “I’m fine. I’m sure it’s just a cold. Don’t worry about it.” I assured her after I had finished coughing. My eyes were still watery and my throat felt sore. 

Alex scoffed, “Like hell I’m not gonna worry about you after _that_ show.”

“I’m fine, really.” I promised, eager to close the door and get back to my suffering in solitude. Being around her was somehow making it worse, and I could feel my cheeks heating up when I thought about how disgusting I must look. 

“I’m calling Samirah.” I laughed. Her tone made it sound like she was threatening to call my mother. Alex glared at me, “Don’t you laugh at me, Bean Boy. This is serious. Something’s wrong with you.” 

_Doesn’t take a genius to figure_ that _out._ “Gee, thanks…It’ll probably blow over soon.” I shifted on my feet. It was weird to have someone care about me this much. Besides Blitzen and Hearth, no one had showed this much concern for me since my mom died. And Blitz and Hearth were always busy at the boutique. They visited maybe once a week, at best. Not that I held it against them. I knew that they had lives outside of mine, just like Annabeth, but still… They’re the only family I have left, so I tend to cling to them. 

“I’m going to call Blitz and Hearth, too.” She looked up from the contacts on her phone, “Get back in bed, Cheesehead. I’ll let the others know what’s up. I’m gonna stop by Amir’s to get you some falafel.” 

I nodded, dumbstruck. “You don’t have to do all this, Alex…”

“I want to, stupid. Now get back in bed.” With that, she stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind her. I stared at the door for a moment before I felt the bile sliding up my throat and made a run for the bathroom. I kneeled on the floor by the toilet, clutching the bowl as I salivated heavily. I could tell that I was going to vomit soon, or so I thought. When the mass in my throat made its way up, it felt like I was choking on something huge. I coughed, thumping at my chest in an attempt to breath again. I clenched my eyes shut at the pain as I finally cleared my throat. When I opened them again, I was staring at rosy water the color of diluted blood and—my breath caught—petals. Small, barely formed pink petals wrapped around a small bud. I couldn’t recall eating flowers, but then again, it had been a rough day. 

“Magnus?” I heard Sam call for me before the door to my bedroom opened; I moved quickly to flush the toilet and get rid of the evidence of my possible case of pica. Was it possible to eat things of non-nutritional value in your sleep? Could that happen? And if so, where the Hel did I find flowers? And in Valhalla, no less. Was I traveling the nine worlds in my sleep? I’ve heard of sleepwalking, but…Wow. I rubbed a hand over my face with a loud, guttural noise that probably would’ve been attractive to a blue whale. Sam was _so_ gonna judge me for eating freaking flowers in my sleep. “Magnus? Are you in here?” Sam peeked her head into the bathroom, “Are you okay? Are you throwing up?” 

“I was, before you interrupted me,” I cracked an honest smile at her. Maybe I could do this whole throwing up flowers thing. Weirder things have happened to me. Not the worst thing to throw up, right? At least my breath will smell good, I guess, but the perfume taste is more than a little noxious. 

“Did you just throw up once? Do you still feel nauseous?” She asked. “Are you wearing your binder?” I sucked my teeth, looking over her shoulder for Alex. “It’s fine; Alex went to go get you some food. You know she wouldn’t judge you, regardless. She’s worried sick about you. She’s in full mama bear mode, like how she gets with the Chase Space kids.” 

I smiled at the thought, but as soon as that image of Alex popped into my head, I gagged again. What the Hel? _Why does thinking of Alex make me feel worse?_ “Just the once, and no, I haven’t worn my binder at all today. I’ve just been in my room, so I didn’t feel like it.” 

“Okay, that’s good. I brought you some ondansetron to help with the nausea, but Magnus… I’m worried. You shouldn’t be getting sick like this in Valhalla. You died this morning, right? So your body should’ve reset itself from any pre-existing illnesses. Unless if you’ve somehow obtained food poisoning since then-,”

“I haven’t eaten,” I told her, thinking back to the flowers. _How did they get there? If they had to have shown up after I re-spawned…_

Sam worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, “Are you experiencing any other symptoms?” 

I sighed, “I haven’t been feeling the best all week. I have this weird cough, and I’ve kinda lost my appetite. My throat hurts, and breathing feels kinda uncomfortable…And then, I have these really strange symptoms, too… Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Magnus,” Sam deadpanned, “We’re demigods. Chances are, I’ve heard weirder. Maybe you’ve been cursed.” I giggled, I couldn’t help it. It sounded like something out of a storybook, and at the time, I’d forgotten that most original fairytales end terribly. “Hey, it could happen.” Her voice gained a sharper edge to it, “You could get seriously hurt if we just brush this off.”

“Okay, okay,” I focused my gaze on the floor and mumbled, “I’ve been throwing up flowers.” 

She stilled, “Magnus, are you sure?” 

I rolled my eyes, “I’m sure. I think I’d know-,” 

“Magnus, you need to tell Alex.” 

“What are you talking about?” I asked, smile fading. 

“Magnus, this is-this is…Allah, help your soul… You need to… You need to tell Alex how you feel.”

I coughed harshly before I was able to speak again, “Sam, Alex _knows_ how I feel, and she doesn’t care.” My organs churned, and I felt dizzy from thinking so hard. “She doesn’t feel the same way. She’ll never—,”

“Stop, Magnus.” Sam sounded downright distraught, “Stop that right now. You’re only going to make yourself worse. I’m-I’m going to tell Hearth and Blitz to hurry. Don’t—just—Think happy thoughts, Magnus. _Please._ ” For once in her life, Samirah al-Abbas looked scared and unsure. 

“Uh, okay,” I replied, unsettled and confused.

 

When Hearth and Blitz arrived, Blitzen was frowning deeply and Hearthstone was a flurry of signs.

“Are you sure?” Hearth signed, “Are you absolutely sure?” 

Blitz groaned, “Why, of all people, did it have to be the one kid in the world who won’t give you a straight answer?” Blitzen asked. “If I have to trick the answer out of Alex, I will.”

“What answer?” I asked, sitting up. “What are you guys talking about?” 

“You went and got yourself freaking Hanahaki disease, you dumb, lovesick-,”

Hearth raised a palm to silence him, “You’re sick because you think Alex doesn’t love you back.” 

“I _know_ she doesn’t.” I faltered, “Wait, what? Is that a thing?”  
“It is for demigods,” Blitz explained, “and for dwarves, and elves, and—,”

“I think we get the point,” Sam interrupted. “What do you think, though? Why did it regenerate with him? Can it kill him here? Will he just regenerate if it gets to the final stage?” 

“I’m dying,” I echoed emptily. I suddenly understood Samirah’s fear. “I’m dying because I had to go and fall in love with someone 10,000 leagues above me. Great. This is great. Do I get a fast-pass to Valhalla if I die nobly again?” I ask dryly. 

“Stop saying that, Magnus. We are going to fix this. You aren’t-you can’t-die,” Sam’s voice breaks. 

“Stop acting like the Fierro kid is another species. Stop belittling yourself,” Blitz scolded.

Hearth’s lips were set in a thin line as his hands moved thoughtfully, “I think that the disease will stay with Magnus no matter how many times he dies. He shouldn’t be able to actually die in Valhalla, but he will suffer while the disease lasts. If he leaves Valhalla, he could die. For real this time.” 

As always, Alex Fierro picks the perfect time to make his appearance. “Sorry it took me so long. Amir was gushing with those heart-eyes, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was in a hurry.” Samirah blushed and pointedly looked away. 

“You have a heart to begin with?” Blitz asked, perhaps with a gruffer tone than usual. 

“He has a heart, Blitz. It’s just cold.” _And void of me._

Alex pursed his lips, fighting a grin as he moved to hand me my falafel. “I don’t know how you do that, Sunshine, but it kinda pisses me the fuck off. Your gender radar is scarily accurate.”  
It was such an Alex statement that I felt like my lungs were going to collapse and the air was kicked out of me. I forcibly swallowed down the flowers in the back of my throat. 

“So, what’s with the party?” Alex inquired, soft multicolored eyes never leaving mine.

I froze. How do you tell someone that they are the reason you are going to die without making them feel guilty? _You don’t._

Sam spoke up, “Magnus’ illness has…Magical roots.” I tried not to crack a grin at the unintentional pun. _It sure does have magical roots. And they’re currently trying to strangle me because Alex won’t stop being adorably concerned for my wellbeing._

“What do you mean?” Alex’s easygoing smile faltered. “Sunshine is a healer, right? This will go away with time, won’t it? Can’t he heal himself? He can’t—,” His voice cracked, and I watched him wrap his arms tightly around his midsection.

Hearth laid a supportive hand on his shoulder. Blitz opened his mouth, brows still furrowed, “In my experience, there are only two ways to treat this.” He shared a look with Hearth and Samirah, “I have a feeling Magnus won’t be a fan of either, and both are risky.” 

Sam inhaled shakily, “Alex, Magnus can’t die in Valhalla, but he’ll be in a lot of pain. If he leaves Valhalla…” 

“He won’t.” Alex said with conviction. “I’ll make sure of it. Nothing will happen to him. I’ll find a cure myself if I have to.” 

“We should go talk with Hunding. He might be able to help with this.” Hearth signed. He turned towards me with a stony expression, “Magnus, no cure is without cost.” 

I closed my eyes, “Well, the one cure is definitely a dead end. There’s no way…He can’t help me, guys. It will only make things worse.”

Sam pinched the bridge of her nose when my eyes fluttered open again, “Magnus, you don’t _know_ that _._ Give him a chance. I’m sure if he knew the stakes… You have to _try._ ”  
Blitz sighed in exasperation, “Stop shrugging your life off, kid. You can’t just die without testing all options. We’ll visit again after we figure some things out.”

Blitzen turned to open the door, but not before Hearth signed, “I love you. Please don’t die.” 

Sam was the last to leave. She stared me done with a fierceness I’ve never seen in her, “You are going to get through this, Magnus. One way or another, we will get through this. Don’t do anything stupid.” I averted my eyes. “Magnus, _promise_ me.” 

“I promise,” I mumbled defeatedly. 

“Don’t even think about,” She paused, looking at Alex before switching to sign language. Alex had been working on learning the language, but he was proving to be a bit of a slow learner. Spoken languages came easily to him, yet sign language proved to be more of a challenge. “Don’t even think about wearing your binder. Wear a sports bra if you have to. Your binder could make things worse.” 

“Okay,” I said aloud. “I understand.”  
“Good,” Sam said as she followed Blitz and Hearth out the door. “I’ll let your hall mates know about the situation.” 

“Okay,” I repeated, feeling empty. Samirah closed the door and encompassed the room once again in dim light. The brightest light in the entire room was the little sliver of light underneath the door from the hallway lights.

Alex collapsed on my bed. He grabbed my hand and scooted up to be at my side, “I don’t like how you guys use sign language to exclude me.” His voice was quiet. He was trying to hide how upset it made him feel. 

_Of course he’d notice that._ I wanted to smack myself for making him feel bad. “I’m sorry for making you feel excluded,” I apologize. I focus on his hand in mine, grounding me. My heart aches knowing that Alex is only doing this because I’m sick. There will never be a reality in which I’m not sick or dying that Alex will entertain these stupid feelings. _Don’t get used to this,_ I remind myself. “The reason why Sam and I did that was because there are things about myself that I don’t feel comfortable with you knowing. I promise it’s nothing big or bad; I just don’t like a lot of people knowing about it. It’s not because I don’t trust you. I’ve just never felt ready to tell you.” 

“Okay,” Alex said, “I understand.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, bringing me into his side. He pressed his face into my hair. My heart was racing. “Why don’t you want to get better, Magnus? Why are you so against the cure—Whatever it is? What did you mean when you said, ‘he’ can’t help you? Who can’t help you? Why won’t he help you?” His voice took on a menacing quality, “Do I need to _make_ him help you?” 

I chucked wetly as the threat was murmured into my hair, “No. I’m sure he’d want to help me, Alex; he just…Can’t. Curing this disease is tricky. If he says the wrong thing, which I know he will if I take the risk, it will kill me. You can’t make him. It’s not his fault.” 

“I feel dumb.” Alex said, “I don’t understand anything right now, just that I could lose you. I can’t lose you, too. Abuelo, Adrian, and now…” His breathing shallowed out. “Now, you’re dying, too, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

I wanted to lie. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t dying, that I would be okay. But I didn’t like lying to Alex, so instead, I just nodded weakly. “Yeah,” which is probably the worst thing I could’ve said to him. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault, Maggie.” I wanted to tell him it was, but the nickname made revulsion wriggle in my gut. 

“Don’t call me that,” I said. 

“Why not, _Maggie_?” Alex teased. He was trying to make me feel better. I knew that. He didn’t know why I hated that name, because I’d never told him. 

I could feel my body tensing up. “Just don’t,” I ground out, trying to sound threatening. 

“What are you going to do about it?” He asked with his signature smirk. I turned away, burying my face in my pillow to try and stop the tears from coming. “…Magnus?” The laughter left his voice at once, “What’s wrong?”

“Please don’t call me that,” I sniffled. I hated how weak I felt. 

“Hey,” He rolled me over, “Talk to me.” He looked at me with painstakingly obvious remorse, “I didn’t mean to make you sad. I was trying to make you laugh. I didn’t realize-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have teased you. I should’ve listened the first time when you told me not to call you that.” 

I felt so stupid. He was apologizing even though I hadn’t explained the situation. He was so-so _good_. And I was crying because I wasn’t brave enough to tell him. Then I thought, maybe I can’t tell him I’m idiotically in love with him (it’s unmissable, I’m sure he knows, after all we’ve been through), but I can tell him this. I know he won’t hurt me for this. I knew it was safe all along, but coming out is such a personal thing. Sometimes, even when I know its okay, I just don’t feel comfortable with coming out to that person yet. It’s hard to explain, so I just started talking. “I’m transgender. I was born Margaret Chase. I used to go by Maggie. It’s a dead name for me, and it still makes me feel dysphoric to hear it. I should’ve told you earlier.” 

When I finally looked up at Alex, there were tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Magnus.” 

“I forgive you,” I whispered, trying to calm my racing heart.

“So, are you gonna eat those falafels, or—?”

“Oh, no, don’t you even _think_ about it, Fierro!” I laughed, rolling over to snatch the takeout bag first. I was so distracted that I almost didn’t notice how it was getting harder for me to breathe. 


	2. No Rose Without A Thorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst! More angst! Some floor nineteen interactions! Feelings! Unedited shit! Mentions of lesbian witches who own a top-notch B&B in the South! I have no idea what I'm doing! Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very happy with the positive reaction to this story so far! You guys make my day! I kind of hate writing in first person, but I hope it's not too annoying to read lol. I'm just so used to Magnus Chase being in first person, ya feel? Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! I plan to have another chapter up soon, because I don't think I'll have the chance to update while I'm out of the country. I recommend listening to Keaton Henson while you read this, particularly If I'm to Die.

Somehow, between Hunding and my buddies Hearth and Blitz (and possibly some threats from Samirah and Alex), I had been excused from our morning training for the time being.I spent the whole morning hacking up leaves, miserable, but Hunding paid me a visit while the others were preoccupied with fighting lindworms. Despite my guilt, I was happy to be excused from the stress of battle. I'm a healer, not a fighter.

“I’ve been looking into your sickness, Magnus. You have options for treatment, you know…” Hunding twiddled his thumbs, “As I’m _sure_ you know, perhaps the option with the _least_ drawbacks is—,”

“I’m going to die either way, Hunding. Might as well die with my dignity in tact.” The disease was progressing. Slowly, but surely I could feel the flowers growing like weeds in my lungs. Like invasive plants, they were stubbornly taking root and refusing to leave me be. 

“I’m not sure I follow. Alex—,” I jerked forward. It was like the flowers were responding to their creator, eager to listen and praise the source of their being. Hunding winced sympathetically, “If I’m being entirely honest, I don’t understand why you’re sick to begin with.” 

“I love you-know-who, and you-know-who doesn’t feel the same about me,” I drawled lazily, turning my sleep-weak body to face the wall. I let my eyes flutter shut as I allowed my mind to fall into a state of limbo. _To sleep or not to sleep?_

“Are you…Did, er, _you-know-who_ explicitly reject these feelings?” Hunding prodded.

“Wouldn’t that kill me?” I pointed out. “I’m going to die regardless, so why does it matter _how_?”

“It _matters,_ ” Hunding berated, “because you don’t _have_ to die. Not now, at least, not for a long time. Not until you are called to your final battle. I really, honestly don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit, Magnus. I realize that matters of the heart can be quite vexing, but even I can see that Alex cares immensely for you. Alex was extremely concerned before battle this morning. It took a lot of convincing from Blitzen and Hearthstone to get her to let you sleep through breakfast. Your hall mates are all very worried about your wellbeing.”

I predicted that I would be hearing about that later. I did not put it beyond Alex to sneak into my room, should Hearth and Blitz decide to barricade her from my room for much longer. “Alex is a good friend. That doesn’t mean she’s desperately in love with me,” I grumbled, still turned away from him. “Where are Hearth and Blitz, anyway?” 

“They’re out tracking an acquaintance of mine, a doctor and surgeon who specializes in these sorts of ailments,” He explained.

I thought on that for a moment, “An acquaintance? No offense, but you don’t seem like you get out much.” I was more awake now, rolling over to face him with curiosity. 

Hunding chuckled at that, “I don’t. She is a Völva, though, and Odin often reaches out to her kind for advice.” 

“Odin asks people for advice?” I asked in disbelief. It didn’t seem likely, but I guess he needed _someone_ to review his Powerpoints. I was just glad that it wasn’t me. “Are they…Okay?” 

“Völva are what you might call Seeresses. They hold great power. They are venerated by humans and Gods alike.” 

“Hold up, I thought you said she was a doctor. Now you’re saying she’s a fortune teller?” I laughed a little hysterically at that. 

“You seem to believe the two are mutually exclusive. Trust me, Anja will take good care of you.” 

That sounded a lot like she was being hired to kill me, but, “Okay.” I shrugged. “So what happens when they find this groovy witch lady?”  
Bless Hunding for his never-ending patience. “She resides in Midgard. In order for her to properly assess you, you will need to meet her at her lodge. I highly recommend the pancakes.” 

“The pancakes?”

“Her lodge doubles as a Bed and Breakfast. Her wife, Maja, is an excellent cook.” His eyes were filled with stars; I really wanted to try those pancakes now. 

“I’ll take your word for it.” A thought occurred to me, “Wait a second, won’t being in Midgard, like, _kill_ me?”

“Potentially,” Hunding frowned, “You should be fine as long as you don’t take you-know-who with you.” 

It sounded easy enough.

 

Naturally, you-know-who was adamant about joining me on my journey, and I half regretted telling her in the first place. 

“So this witchy mama is gonna fix you up?” Alex asked excitedly over her lunch. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she wasn’t supposed to accompany me on my aforementioned journey. 

“That’s the rumor…But I don’t know if she can _heal_ me, per se.” _I don’t think anyone can._ Alex’s face fell, and I scrambled to think of a positive to my imminent death. “Hunding says her wife makes killer pancakes, though.” 

“Better stay away from them, then.” Mallory chided as I let my poor wording sink in, “We don’t need you dying on us just yet, Beantown.” 

“Speaking of pancakes,” TJ piped up, “You haven’t eaten a thing.” 

Alex frowned, glaring at my full plate. She had piled it high with fruit ten minutes earlier—the act was so thoughtful I hacked bloody petals into my palm. Thankfully, I was quick to hide them in the pocket of my hoodie. She was gearing up to scold me when Halfborn beat her to it. 

“How will you grow big and strong if you do not eat? Your squishy body needs its food.” 

I frowned. “My body’s not _that_ squishy—,”

“I don’t think squishy is a bad thing,” TJ said. “Makes you better at cuddling.” 

“This oaf wouldn’t know,” Mallory elbowed Halfborn, “It’s like sleeping with a statue.” 

“How would _you_ know?” TJ teased. 

“If you don’t eat, you’ll lose your squish, and then I’ll have to cuddle with TJ or the lovers.” Alex complained.

For some reason, her face seemed a bit darker as she teased me. I was sure mine was on fire. “That implies you cuddle with me in the first place.” 

“How is Magnus supposed to feel better if he’s not getting his daily cuddle dosage?” TJ actually frowned. I think he might’ve actually been serious. “If you’re not going to—,”  
“No, no, no, nope,” Alex spoke up, “I’ve got it covered. I will take one for the team and valiantly cuddle the pain away.” I don’t think she had a firm understanding on how my disease worked. One cuddle session with Alex Fierro might actually kill me. A loud stream of music that sounded straight from the intro to an anime rang out, and Alex scrambled to check her phone. “Sam says Blitz and Hearth found the Bed and Breakfast.” 

“Awesome,” I said half-heartedly. 

“I’m going to go change. Meet me outside your room, Mango?” Alex stood with an expectant look on her face.

“Yeah,” I tried to smile convincingly, “Sounds great.” 

I took a deep breath. I could breathe better now that there was some distance between us. “I’d better go after her, then.” I didn’t wait for their reactions. Instead, I jumped up and speed walked towards the elevator that led to floor nineteen. I really needed to cough up the flowers stuck in my throat. It wasn’t until the elevator doors closed that I noticed Mallory had followed me. “Oh, hey, Mack. What’s up?” I hoped she hadn’t notice my ragged breathing on the way there.

Mallory hummed conspicuously, “Nothing much. You dropped this, by the way.” She held her hand out in a fist. Hesitating, I offered an open palm. “Found it on your seat. Halfborn says it’s a rose. I’d have to ask him to find out the meaning.” 

“Oh, uh, thanks,” I laughed nervously. “Halfborn knows flower meanings?”

“He may be dense, but you have to do _something_ to spend the time around here. He’s quite the romantic when he wants to be. Don’t tell him I told you…” She leaned closer, “He loves all the heeby-jeeby flower meaning stuff.” 

I laughed, shoulders relaxing. “Huh, I guess everyone has hidden depths.” 

“It would seem so,” She raked her piercing eyes over my face. I felt like an alien on a dissection table (my mom had a pretty diverse taste in movies). “And you are choosing not to tell her that you’re in love with her because…?”

I immediately tensed back up. “Don’t you think that we’d already be a thing if she liked me back? I made my feelings pretty clear during the flyting.” 

“She kissed you before the flyting, though, did she not?”

“That’s because we were dying, Mack. She probably just didn't want to die without kissing somebody.” 

“You really believe that you were Alex Fierro’s first kiss?” Mallory asked doubtfully. 

I frowned, “Okay, then she took pity and didn't want to let _me_ die without a first kiss? Either way, she said she needed time. She asked for space. She said she’d get back to me. She never did.”

“You really are thick-headed, aren’t you?” I could tell she was growing impatient. “Okay, fine. You know that you have other options, right?”

“So I’ve been told,” _Just a little longer. Floor 15, we’re almost there._ The elevator door opened with a ding and a grumpy looking boy hopped in, shooting us a glare as he hit the button for Floor 18. I groaned internally. 

“You could get surgery. You would lose your feelings and all of your memories of her, but you wouldn’t be in pain all the time.” 

“Like I could forget—,” I stuttered as the boy headed to Floor 18 gazed on with barely hidden interest, “you-know-who. And I don’t want to do that. She’s such an integral part of my life now, Mack. I don’t want to forget that.”

“Then get over her, Magnus! I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t let you die because you’re shy and awkward.” 

The elevator came to a stop as we reached Floor 18. The grumpy boy put a hand on my shoulder, “Good luck, Magnus Chase.” And with that, he was gone.

“That was weird,” I commented in shock.

“Looks like you have a fan,” Mallory teased. 

The elevator doors closed, bringing us to our final stop. Floor 19. The moment we stepped out of the elevator, I made eye contact with Alex Fierro. She had changed into a pair of pink converse, the exact shade of the petals in my lungs, and lime green skinny jeans. The whole outfit was completed with a black t-shirt that read “Are you a boy or a girl?” with the responding line “Sometimes” underneath.

I laughed at the brilliant fashion choice. “I love that,” I said, pointing at her shirt.

Mallory whispered, “Trust me, we know,” before moving in front of me. “Take care of this dumb ass, Fierro. Don’t let him get himself killed.” 

Alex blinked. Mallory didn’t wait for a reply, opting to walk straight to her room without a glance back. “Of course,” Alex smiled, recovering from Mallory’s strangeness. “Someone has to protect him from Midgardian weirdos.” I laughed, and Alex hooked her arm with mine. “Ready to go?” I nodded, “Sam sent me some more info on the B and B. Apparently it’s wedged in the void between Arkansas and Missouri.” 

I wrinkled my nose, “The South?”

“Yeah, I know, but it should be fine. Sam said they live in a pretty rural area, and I doubt two lesbian witches are going to discriminate against us.” Alex pressed the down arrow on the panel outside of the elevator. You’d think that they’d have magic elevators in Valhalla, but no, they’re just as slow as regular ones. Just as busy, too. “I’m worried about you, Bean Boy. Sam said leaving Valhalla would put you in a lot of pain.” 

“Being in Valhalla brings me a lot of pain, too. I’ll be fine.” 

 

Okay, maybe I was bluffing before, because I certainly did not feel fine the moment we arrived in Midgard. I hadn’t accounted for the fact that my einherji immunity in Valhalla wouldn’t carry over into Midgard. I’m not exaggerating when I say I felt like I was dying (even more than in Valhalla). There was a constant stabbing pain in my chest. It was like I’d fallen asleep wearing my binder, and somehow, being in Midgard made it more difficult for me to keep Alex out of my mind. We’d ended up in the middle of nowhere, right next to a crystal clear creek. We were bordered by a thick, lush forest on all sides. 

“I’m going to go scout it out. Sam said their house is about a mile long walk from the entry point, so I should be able to find it from the air. Stay right here. Don’t move a muscle.” I smiled adoringly at her parent-y antics. “What did I just say? You moved multiple muscles just now. Kids these days,” Alex laughed. She reached over to ruffle my hair, “Seriously, though. Sit tight, yeah? I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, m’am.” 

“Good,” She grinned. She handed me her phone, “Try to catch some Pokemon for me, yeah? That should keep you busy.” Ink black feathers sprouted from her arms, her face drawing forward, legs and torso shrinking, until she contorted into a sizable black bird. _A crow, I think._ Dark eyes focused on mine as she cawed in warning. I got the gist of the message: Stay put. Then, she was off, taking flight into the endless cotton-candy-blue sky above. I watched her flight circles grow increasingly bigger as my mind wandered. 

_Pink roses, huh? How cliche. Alex would hate it, if she knew. Someone like Alex deserves better, something vibrant and exotic, unique. In fact, I bet Alex would hate this whole disease. It’s like a dumb Hallmark movie brought to life. It’s predictable, too. The stupid love-struck guy dies in the end, and the love interest will be none the wiser._ The more I thought about it, the more constricted my throat became. _It’s fitting that roses have thorns, though. Now I’m being torn apart physically_ and _emotionally. Great. I’d prefer pica, honestly._

My breathing came out short and labored. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the thorns digging into me. I wrapped my arms around my abdomen, lowering my body onto a sun-warmed rock beside the creek. My eyes watered, my throat burning as I coughed in an attempt to dislodge the lump I could feel there. It hurt much more than it ever had in Valhalla. It was an ever-present ache that burned in my torso. My entire body felt heavy with fatigue; the smell of roses permeating from my mouth and making me sick to my stomach. I could barely process what was happening. I fell forward into the grass, clutching the thin green blades between my fingers. The denim on my knees grew wet as I heaved. I was crying now. A large pink bud, almost fully bloomed, fell into a puddle of mixed crimson blood and spit on the ground below me. I lowered my forehead onto the grass hopelessly. Part of me was convinced. _This is how I die._ I closed my eyes, ignoring the tears running down my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, angst. Next up: Lesbian witches! Happy pride month, y'all! I accidentally typed bread and breakfast while writing this lmao. I hope you guys are well! Comments and kudos are appreciated! They make my day! I will hopefully update soon. I may schedule an update for while I'm away as well, so that you guys won't have to wait so long for another chapter. Also this guy is unedited bc I got lazy after I wrote this. I hope there aren't too many errors!


	3. Pancakes and Potions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alex visit some cool lesbian witches. AKA Midgardian weirdos. AKA Pancakes and Potions (and Pride).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take it easy, but take it is my mantra for this fic. I tried to incorporate some setting elements bc my writing gets dialogue heavy very easily. This chapter is basically me projecting onto a fictional lesbian couple that I based off of some very nostalgic gay feelings of mine. Mood for this chapter: Soft and gay. I hope you enjoy!

Warm hands rolled me onto my back in the grass. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the _fuck_?” Alex’s voice was a terrified mantra in the back of my head as I squinted at the bright sky above us. Apparently, being on my back was doing the trick, because air began to enter my lungs again. “You do not get to leave me now, you fucking asshole!” 

“I’m—,” I coughed in an attempt to get rid of the rasp in my voice, “I’m okay, Alex.” 

“That is such bullshit, you stupid freaking fruit! You-You scared me to death, dumbass!” 

I turned my head to look at her—no, him—and I was surprised to find tears in his eyes. 

“We’ve gotta get you to the witch’s place.” 

“That’s probably a good idea,” I agreed, praying he wouldn’t ask about the flowers littering the ground. 

For some reason, he seemed solely focused on me, not bothering to look anywhere but in my eyes. He gripped my forearm, helping me off of the ground, “Did you at least catch some Pokemon for me?” I laughed hoarsely before I realized I didn’t know where his phone was. As I was about to voice my concern, Alex knelt to the ground. He brushed aside the bloody flowers with his bare hands, uncovering his phone and wiping the screen on his pants. The blood mixed with the lime green of his pants made me think of Christmas, in some sick and twisted way. “What did you get yourself into, Sunshine? What kinda disease makes you cough up fucking _flowers_?” He asked incredulously. 

“I’ll be okay,” I said, dodging the question altogether. “I’m sorry for getting blood on your phone.” 

“No harm done, Mango Cheese,” His tone was lighthearted, but I could see the unwavering worry in his eyes. He pocketed his phone and approached the creek. I watched as he rinsed away the drying blood in the clear, green-tinted water. “We’ll need to walk downstream for a while, then there should be a bridge that connects to a trail to the Mothman B &B.” He explained, “Can you walk?”

“Mothman?” I asked, grinning, “And yeah, I’m fine.” 

“Stop lying. And who the hell else is going to visit a B&B in the middle of nowhere?” He huffed. 

“Fair point,” I conceded. “Up the creek and through the woods, to Mothman’s house we go,” I sang cheekily as we started moving downstream.

Alex rolled his eyes, but I could tell that he found my antics amusing. “You sure you don’t need a piggy back? That blood did _not_ look fun.” 

“I thought blood was always fun for you,” I teased.

“Not when it belongs to you,” He corrected.

“Did you forget the time you literally decapitated—,”

“Okay, that was _one_ time! One! And I said I was sorry!”  
“No, you didn’t,” I laughed. “I’m going to die, and you will have to live with the knowledge that you never apologized.” I didn’t realize how dark of a turn the conversation had taken until the words had left my mouth, “Sorry, I didn’t—,”

“You’re not going to die, Sunshine. Not on my watch,” Alex sounded so determined. I didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble. As if he had read my mind, he stopped moving altogether, “Hey. You are not going to die, Magnus. I won’t let you. Okay?” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t meet his eyes. “Okay? Magnus, I need to know that you trust me. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. I promise.”

“I’m not going to force you to make a promise you can’t keep, Alex. Some things are out of your hands.” 

“You are so…” He muffled a scream of frustration. “We are here to help cure you, dumbass.” 

I didn’t say anything. We started moving again. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Alex, so I focused instead on the nature around me. The forest bordering the creek was dense, crowded with enormous trees. Each one was so tall that I could hardly make out the top of the tree line if I squinted. The trees offered an almost eerie sense of shade if you strayed too far from the creek. The forest itself was mostly made up of pine and oak trees, but there were a few trees that I had never seen before, as well. Let’s put it this way: If someone told me they were magical, I wouldn’t question it. The scene gave off picturesque fairytale vibes, but I knew better than to blink twice. Call me untrusting if you want; I wasn’t about to get kidnapped by man eating gnomes. 

Not that I would’ve had the chance to. Despite being in the lead, Alex turned around every fifteen seconds or so to make sure I was keeping up. He didn’t say anything, obviously lost in thought after our earlier scuffle. I didn’t mind too much, though. The silence gave me an opportunity to take in the nature around us, which was something I hadn’t had the chance to do in a while. It was almost like hiking with my mom. There was a sudden twinge in my heart, and I gagged feebly. 

Alex automatically twisted to face me, “Are you okay? We should be reaching the bridge soon. Do we need to stop so you can rest?”

I waved him off, “No, it’s okay.” I was going to say _I’m okay_ , but I knew that he would kill me if I said that again. “C’mon, slowpoke,” I teased when Alex tried to slow our pace.

I turned my gaze to the creek. Tall grass hugged its edges. The creek bed was decorated with smooth stones, and every now and then, I could make out a moss-covered red eared slider or a bluegill swimming idly in the current. At one point, a dragonfly flew out right in front of me, causing me to squeal like a frightened toddler. Alex laughed a little too hard at that. 

Sooner than expected, we came across the bridge, which turned out to be an extravagant pathway of woven metal. Alex hesitated before crossing it, too taken aback by the beautiful winding vine pattern that made up the railing and side supports for the bridge. I followed behind him, only pausing to look into the water below us where a school of vibrant sunfish schooled in the shallow water. 

After crossing the bridge, it was easy to find the pathway to the B&B. Mostly because it had a cute little wooden sign that read, “Pancakes and Potions This Way” with an arrow pointing down a quartz crystal and wildflower lined dirt path. I briefly pondered upon the thought that thornless, softly rooted flowers such as these might not be quite so painful as the roses rooted in my lungs, but an acute pricking sensation in my side caused my train of thought to turn more macabre. 

_Alex deserves a better bouquet than a bunch of regurgitated, blood covered thorns and roses. Would Alex even_ want _a bouquet in the first place? Or would he laugh in my face? What kind of flowers will they put on my grave?_

“What do you think this Völva will be like?” Alex’s voice brought me out of my spiral. 

“I dunno,” I replied, “but I could really use some pancakes.”

“Your appetite is back!” Alex grinned, “That must be a good sign, right? Maybe the witchy vibes are already curing you.”

“No, it’s not,” I remorsefully admitted. “I just really like pancakes.”

Alex stopped walking, and I followed suit. He sat there, sunlight filtering through the trees to cast beams of light onto his gold-bronze skin. For a fleeting moment, as I held eye contact under his intense multi-hued stare, I was under the impression that Alex Fierro was about to tell me something incredibly profound, but he just leaned in, flicked my nose, and scoffed, murmuring about “Stupid boys” before he picked up pace again. 

“You’re a boy right now,” I reminded him with a cheesy smile.

“And you,” He said pointedly, “Have a freakishly accurate gender radar that, quite frankly, I find both impressive and scarily omnipotent.” 

“I, quite frankly,” Alex huffed at my repetition of his earlier words, “Don’t remember what the word ‘omnipotent’ means.” 

Alex laughed a laugh that somehow possessed both astounding depth and blinding brightness. “I don’t even need to waste my time roasting you, Beantown, you do it yourself.” 

We continued this banter until we could see a stretch of light where the forest came to an end. When we got to the end of the trail, Alex stopped to let me catch up. There was a small grassy hill ahead, and sitting regally upon it was an old, pastel Victorian-styled farmhouse. 

“Okay, this is adorable, what the hell?” I couldn’t tell if Alex was excited or offended, so I decided to keep my mouth shut until we reached the screen door at back of the house. There was a small sign on the wall that read ‘Potions in the back, pancakes in the front, love all around.’ “Should I knock?” Alex didn’t wait for a response. “I’m gonna knock.” Alex’s version of knocking was most people’s version of trying to break down a door. Thankfully, the screen door swung open before he had a chance to vent his frustrations on the poor, unsuspecting surface. 

A short woman with long, dark locks that curled around a young face stood in the doorway, an adorable calico cat bundled up in her arms. She was the image of austerity. For about five seconds, that is. “Greetings, my fellow gays!” She crowed with a voice like smooth honey before doubling over with jubilant laughter. The cat jumped out of her arms with distaste, prompting the woman to cry out, “Sindri, get back here!” The cat paid her no mind as it stalked towards the forest without so much as a look back. The woman straightened her back, wiping leftover tears from the corners of her eyes. “You better not bring me any more fairies!” She shouted at the feline’s retreating figure, “No pixies, either! We are trying to stay on their good side after the incident at the bar!” The woman turned back to us, shaking her head, “Familiars, am I right?”  
I nodded curtly, subtly trying to make eye contact with Alex to see if he understood exactly what was happening. 

“Ah! Where are my manners? Maja will be so disappointed in me!” She moved aside to invite us into her home. “I am Anja Nejem, Völva extraordinaire. I am a witch, a healer, a seeress, and occasionally, an amateur chemist. I was classically trained by many Völva before me, and my talents lie in ailments of the heart.” 

We moved through the back passageway, passing by open rooms as we were led into the house. I resisted the temptation to backtrack as we passed by a room lit by strange floating orbs that mimicked flames. “Honey?” A soft voice called, “Are Samirah’s friends here?”  
Anja visibly melted into a puddle of cinnamon colored skin at the voice, “Yeah, babe! Sindri left to chase the innocents, by the way, so we gotta remember to let him in in a bit.” We entered an open living room with a high ceiling, and it struck me just how much bigger the house was on the inside than it appeared on the outside. 

A taller woman with dark freckles and coppery red hair fashioned into a bob rushed to meet Anja in the middle. “I missed you,” The woman cooed, peppering Anja’s face with kisses. The flowers inside of me cooed right along with her. Anja whispered something to her wife, pulling away and shooting me an apologetic yet understanding look. I shivered. _Looks like I’m not the only omnipotent one._

“This is my gorgeous wife, Maja, maker of pancakes and keeper of kisses!” Anja introduced, much to her wife’s flustered hand flapping, “She was trained on the streets, so you’d better not underestimate her. She specializes in plant growth and breakfast food!” Anja’s announcement was filled with pride. 

Maja giggled softly, “Shhh, you have work to do, yeah? I’ll go start the pancakes. Why don’t you get started on the consultation?” She pressed a quick kiss to Anja’s temple on her way out. 

Anja stood dopily, grey eyes following Maja’s back before she seemed to snap back to reality, “Shit, sorry!” She shook her head, “I just love her so much. She’s such a dork.” Alex snickered at this, for whatever reason. “Anyway, Samirah had to leave—She said she had some sort of National Honor’s meeting to lead? Hearthstone dragged Blitzen out; he said you’d prefer to do this on your own. I’m sure they’ll drop by to visit later.” 

“At least you have me, right, Sunshine?” Alex teased me.

Anja’s eyes narrowed at the interaction, “Alex, could you be a dear and check on Maja for me? She might need help bringing the food in.” 

Alex stood reluctantly, “Okay. He’d better not be dead when I get back.” 

Anja smiled thinly, “That is what we are trying to avoid.” She watched as Alex left the room, waving her out when she stopped at the doorway to look back at me. “Go on, just through that hall and on the left.” Alex snapped out of her daze at the instructions. Anja rotated to face me, voice becoming serious, “It’s Alex, isn’t it?”

I swallowed thickly, “Yeah.” 

Anja sighed, smile dissolving. She took a seat on one of the plush couches that littered the room before motioning for me to take a seat across from her. “I’m assuming you know your options?” I nodded in confirmation. “And you’re sure that you can’t get out of this the easy way?” 

“If you’re talking about confessing, then yeah, that’s not happening. Alex has already made it pretty clear how he feels.” I explained.

“Has he really?” She asked cryptically, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. “People always make it more difficult than it has to be, don’t they?” 

“It’s not his fault he doesn’t like me that way,” I said, not entirely understanding what she was trying to say. 

“All right, well, if you are going to turn down the easy route, for whatever stubborn reasons… I guess the next most viable option would be the surgery to remove the flowers at the root. There is also an elixir to slowly kill the plant, like a weed killer, but it tastes terrible and you’re too far along to be a good candidate for it, anyway. The safest option is the surgery, then, since you’re…What? Two months along?” She squinted at my covered rib cage, “Yeah, I’d put you at about two months… But they took root rather fast, didn’t they? It’s worse now that you’re in Midgard, right?” 

“A lot worse,” I agreed. My body chose to make me cough like a chain smoker for added effect. 

“If you weren’t so human, I’d see if Maja could prune you…” I wrinkled my nose. “It’s rarer to see Hanahaki develop in einherjar. I really think that surgery is our only option for treatment.” Anja grabbed a wrinkled notebook from the coffee table in front of her. She aimlessly flipped through the pages, stopping at one with an illustration of flower-filled lungs. “The only really permanent side effect of the surgery would be the memory loss. You’d forget Alex and all of your memories of him, but it’s really a small price to pay when you weigh it against eternal suffering. If what you say is true,” She made a face like she’d just eaten something sour, “then I’m sure he’d understand.” 

I frowned and sunk back into the couch. “I don’t want the surgery.” 

“Magnus,” She leaned forward, eyes pleading, “You mean a lot to a lot of people. You know that, yeah? I don’t want to see you throw your life away for freshly rooted love. It’s not as bad as it sounds—I promise. You won’t even know what’s missing, trust me. Maja got the surgery, and she’s thriving. If she hadn’t gotten the surgery, I never would have found her and fallen in love. There will be other opportunities for love. This isn’t the only chance you’ll get.” 

“I understand that it’s a comfortable option for some people, Anja, but I would rather suffer forever than forget Alex Fierro.” 

Anja’s frown deepened, “You don’t have to make your decision now. Keep thinking about it, okay? As Maja says,” Her lips softened into a smile, “Take it easy, but take it. You don’t have to die a martyr. This isn’t some teen romance novel. I understand if-,” 

“I’m sure. I’m not getting the surgery.” 

“Magnus, if you’re going to reject all forms of treatment, then our only option is containing your condition as much as possible.” Her expression was bleak. Even when Maja and Alex entered with a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and a tray of mugs, her expression remained downtrodden. 

Maja set the pancake platter down on the coffee table, as well as a stack of breathtaking ceramic plates and silverware that seemed to appear from thin air. Alex did the same with the mug tray, then both took their seats. Maja cuddled up next to her wife, and Alex sat far enough away from me that our only point of contact was a small space where our thighs met. Maja sipped at her mug, emerald green eyes zeroing in on my abdomen. I shifted anxiously. She reached forward to grab one of the mugs, holding it out for me, “You must be feeling a bit distended. This should help.” She smiled encouragingly as I took a small sip. It looked like tea, but it tasted like honey, somehow. It wasn’t overbearingly sweet, though; it wasn’t sweet enough to make my eyes twitch. It was a comforting sweetness, rich like chocolate or caramel. 

“It’s Maja’s own recipe,” Anja commented. She looked much calmer now that Maja was at her side. 

“Did you have an episode before you got here?” Maja asked. “The plants seem to still be recovering from your body’s attempt to expel the flowers.” 

“Magnus is still recovering, too. Any good news?” Alex picked up his mug, fingers drumming on the sides of the ceramic surface. 

“About that…” Anja made eye contact with Maja as she spoke, “Alex, Magnus is choosing to refuse surgery as of right now. It’s not good for you to be around him.” 

Alex crossed his arms fiercely, “I don’t care if he’s contagious. I’m strong. I have a healthy immune system.” 

“Magnus,” I noticed one of Anja’s thick brows twitch, “I understand that this is a…Private, personal matter, but you can’t keep this from Alex forever. Even if it’s in death-,” Her voice caught. Maja intertwined their fingers, holding their hands to her lips in silent support. “You need to tell him how this is going to work, Magnus.” She pivoted her body towards Alex, whose brows were furrowed, “Alex, because Magnus has rejected all of the viable treatment options, he is not going to get better. It’s not that he’s contagious, it’s—,” She sealed her lips. “It’s not my place to say. Magnus, I suppose you’ll want to make arrangements with your family.” 

“Shut up,” Alex growled. “Stop talking like he’s going to die. He’s not-He _can’t_ …”

“Rather an ugly truth than a pretty lie,” Maja advised. “We’ll give you two a minute alone. Help yourself to the pancakes. We’ll be in the greenhouse if you need us.” 

“Wait, but—,” Anja protested.

“Trust me, sweetheart. Let’s give them a moment. Why don’t you come help me with the new propagation set up?” 

“Of course,” Anja said, obviously still confused.

Alex stabbed a few pancakes onto a plate, glaring, “Magnus, why don’t you want to get better?”

“It’d be a burden upon the only person who can cure me. There are only two real ways that I could get better, Alex.” 

He shoved the plate of pancakes into my lap, and I was glad that he hadn’t taken to baby-birding me yet. “Well, what are they? I feel like you’re not being honest with me. What aren’t you telling me here? Why can’t I be around you? Talk to me, Mango. We can’t figure this out together if you won’t talk to me.” 

“We can’t figure this out together, period.” I picked up the fork he’d handed me to pick at the pancakes. “I don’t want to hurt you by telling you the truth.” 

“Magnus,” He pleaded, exasperated, “I don’t care if it hurts me. I hate seeing you like this. I don’t want you to leave me, okay? _Please_.” His hands clenched and unclenched, desperate to occupy themselves. 

“I’m sorry, Alex, but I don’t want you to feel bad when you can’t save me.” 

“Stop trying to protect my feelings, Magnus! I’m going to feel like shit if you die! The focus is on _your life_ , not my stupid feelings!” He ran a hand through his silky hair to grab at the strands, “I’m the pessimistic cynic, not you, Sunshine.” 

“Okay,” I conceded weakly, “Okay. I’ll tell you everything—I promise. But it’ll have to wait until we go back to Valhalla. I have to say my goodbyes.” _Maybe that way I won’t die right away. Maybe that way I’ll have a chance to say I’m sorry._

“I can’t lose you, Magnus.” His voice is so, so small, and I hate myself for making him feel that way. 

I shove a piece of pancake in my mouth so that I won’t have to focus on my emotions, and, “Well, look on the bright side, these pancakes _are_ amazing.” I want to punch myself the minute the words leave my mouth. They’re true, but still…Not exactly the most appropriate situation to say them.

Alex stares at me with glassy eyes before chucking wetly and reaching for his own plate, “Yeah, the bright side.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm way too attached to Anja and Maja. They're my new OTP. I'm weak for soft girls. This will probably be my last update for a bit, seeing as I'll be on another continent for about two weeks starting Wednesday, so until then!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all are all doing well. ily. I will hopefully update soon, but who knows. You can check out my blog @ pomegranasia.tumblr.com if you want.


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